


Thousand Eyes.

by LuaB



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Drama, F/M, Fluff, OFC - Freeform, Of Monsters and Men, Romance, a lot of suffering, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:26:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9588569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuaB/pseuds/LuaB
Summary: It’s been two years since Bucky Barnes escaped from HYDRA. By day he’s an Avenger and do the best he can to undo all the harm he caused as the Winter Soldier. But, at night, his past can’t leave him alone and his dreams are hunted by a girl with a sweet voice. Who could that be?





	1. Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm reposting the fic!) 
> 
> This is inspired by the song “Thousand Eyes” from Of Monsters and Men. This was first time writing Marvel, and like I said before, english is not my first language I also wrote the entire story in portuguese and now I’m translating it to english, so watch out for grammar mistakes!
> 
> Please, let me know what you think! :)
> 
> And if you want to, check the fics playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/12150965470/playlist/78pBxsyDNlD0jvolV2k1js

_He walked through the cells. Men cursed him and he could hear the sound of someone crying in a corner. But he wasn't there for them. He walked to the last cell of the solitary. To the girl. He could hear her sweet voice as he got closer. Singing. In the middle of that Purgatory._

Undo this storm, undo this storm, undo this storm and wait...

_The voice stopped as the guard opened the door. Her face took a expression of horror when she saw him. Her lower lip was bleeding and and she had purple bruises on her neck and arms._

_-Come. - he said in russian. Could that be really him? Did he really took that girl with a sweet voice to be tortured?_

_She hesitated, but followed him out of the cell. He took her arm but she avoided his touch._

_-I can walk by myself, thanks. - she answered in english - get your hands off me!_

_He tightened the grip on her arm and kept walking._

_He did that. Among all the bad things he did. He hurt her as well._

Bucky Barnes woke up sweating and breathless.

That was the fourth time that week that he dreamed about that girl. He needed to understand what happened. He needed to understand why she kept hunting his dreams. **  
He needed to find her.**


	2. Freya.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya Hatkins escaped from HYDRA one year ago, but she can't seem to move on with her life, not when they still looking for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will be divided between Bucky's and Freya's pov, and like I said before, this is a repost because I wasn't happy with the way things were before. And I'm going to try and post a little more this time! 
> 
> This is inspired by the song “Thousand Eyes” from Of Monsters and Men. This was first time writing Marvel, and like I said before, english is not my first language. I also wrote the entire story in portuguese and now I’m translating it to english, so watch out for grammar mistakes!
> 
> TW: Death, blood, mentions of sexual assault.

**Part One - Search.**

 

**Sao Paulo, Brazil. Now.**

 

Freya Hatkins tried to walk as fast as she could without drawing attention. They found her again. 

It's been two years since HYDRA was dragged out of the shadows and one year since she escaped from them. And it felt like she was running ever since. She had tried to hide in four other countries before and Brazil was the one where she stayed the longest. Five months. She even learned portuguese and made a friend. 

Freya got out of the subway station into the warm spring air. The two men following her, always a few steps behind.  

She needed to loose them for enough time to get home, pack her bag and buy a airplane ticket. She had no idea of where to go, but Brazil wasn't safe anymore. Maybe Australia? 

She left the busy street and walked into a more quiet avenue that she knew it would lead her to the park. There, she knew she could loose them and run. 

Freya pretend to look around the street and saw the two men talking and watching her furtively. She considered the possibility of them being only two perverts trying to do something with her, but she knew that look and that military posture. The empty look. It was HYDRA. Again. 

Taking a deep breath, she walked quickly to the park and went to a place knew to be empty at that time. Next to the cooper track there was a passage where the trees were very close together. If she needed to fight, this would be the perfect place. 

The two men were close now, undisguised that she was the one they were chasing. Freya put her hands on her jeans pockets. All she had was a small knife and a taser. 

"Stop!" one of the men exclaimed in russian, but she didn't stop. Freya ran and hid amongst the trees. 

"No need for hiding, little bird.", the other men said in russian as well. She knew that voice. Her whole body shivered with fear. Eight years. Eight years listening to that voice "Why don't you sing a little for us, uh? I promise that I won't hurt you, Zola misses you!"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pulling out the knife and the taser. They were close now and there was no one else around. 

"Thanks, but, I think I'll have to pass this one!", she said when they reached her. Freya jumped on one of the men and hit the taser on his face while the other man tried to pull her other arm. She flipped the knife, but, failed to hit him, stumbling on a branch. 

The man laughed and pulled a gun. Freya kicked his leg and tried to get up, but the man pulled her by her long, curly red hair and tried to grab her by the neck. Freya steped on his foot as strong as she could and freed herself. She hit him with the taser. The man fell in the exact moment the other got up. Freya still on her back, felt him approaching and when he touched her, she stabbed his abdomen with the knife. 

Her attacker looked at her horrified. She instinctively pulled the knife out of his abdomen and hit again. This time on the neck. Freya screamed with him. She took the knife of his neck and watched as he fell to the ground. Dying slowly. She turned to the other man. 

"Little bird...," he started.

"Go fuck yourself!", she yelled and pulled the knife on his throat. 

When he finally died, Freya took her taser, the knife and the gun that the man had used to threaten her. She saved the taser on her pocket and the gun inside her pants. Now she had to get rid of the knife and runaway. 

She arrived in the busiest part of the park and stopped running , walking as quietly as she could to the lake and throwing the knife inside . Then she turned and walked into the ladies room . It was empty and she washed her bloody hands. There were no apparent spots on her black clothes and combat boots, which was fortunate . She washed her sweaty face and dried it with some paper towel that was there.

Freya tried to calm her breathing, counting to ten and exhaling. When she stopped shaking and breath was more calm, she walked to the bus stop. Now she had to run. Maybe she had a few hours of front before they started to seek her out again. 

 

Freya arrived in her small apartment , feeling the adrenaline drain away and the weight of what she had done beginning to take over. She had killed someone. Two people. 

No, she said to herself. Two torturers, two men who had hurt her so many times. She didn't remember the name of the one who called her "little bird" but she remembered that he used to visit her cell sometimes. She remembered his stinking smell. The weight of his body. 

Unable to endure more, Freya threw up in the small kitchen sink. She couldn't think of that now. She had to stay alert and run. She killed two people. 

Freya gathered everything she needed on her backpack, then opened her laptop and accessed the bank account of a ghost worker of a contractor. She had discovered the account when she first arrived in the country. It wasn't hers, but of a corrupt alderman. He bustled millions on that account and never noticed the small amounts that she took almost every week. She transferred some thousands to a fake account she created in a swiss bank. Then, she turned the TV on the news, undressed and went to the shower, to clean any trace of blood that could have stayed on her body. 

- _ And now international news. -  _ said the journalist on the TV _ \- The Avengers Team got a new member. Bucky Barnes. _ \- Freya went back running to the living room at the sound of that name -  _ Better known as the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes received international amnesty after the intercession of King T'Challa at the UN. Barnes is a great friend of Captain America . Sources within the US government report that the new Avenger was already participating in missions before being formalized in the group. _

So he had received amnesty, Freya thought. He deserved that. She had being forced to program some of his missions.  _ No _ , she corrected herself, _ to the Winter Soldier _ . She knew he had suffered just as much as her. 

Freya sighed, making a decision. She knew where to got. United States. 

 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SHEFFIELD, ENGLAND. 2008**

 

It was the first day of summer and Freya's fourteenth birthday. She was going back home after a semester at the boarding school she attended, but she was worried. It was her birthday, but she didn't hear from her mother all day. She didn't even picked her up at the train station even though she knew it was the first day of summer, which meant that Freya was going back home. 

Freya opened her house gate and saw that her mother's car was still at the garage. She had not gone to work. Her heart raced upon seeing that the front door was unlocked. She opened the door and got in. 

-Mom? - she called. 

-In the living room, dear! - her mother answered, but there was something wrong with her voice. Could she be crying? 

Freya went to the living room and her heart pounded on her chest. Her mother was sitting at the sofa, eyes red of crying, the nose bleeding and the body shaking. 

Standing beside her was her mother's boyfriend, Khaled Kampmann. But he was acting different, his posture was rigid and his eyes were cold. Freya knew that they were together for a few months, but only meet him once. On that time, he had been kind to her, but now there was no trace of kindness on his face. 

Who scared her the most, however, was the man in the shadows, next to the closed window. He was tall and strong, with a metal arm and a mask that only showed his blue eyes and dark hair. The man was holding a machine gun. 

-M-mom? What is going on? 

-You're coming with us. - Khaled said, her mother just cried. 

-What? I'm not going anywhere with you! What the fuck is going on? - Freya replied, her voice getting louder. 

-Watch your tongue, little girl. - Khaled answered - We've been watching you. Prodigy, computer genius. We know everything. You'll be brilliant. Zola chose you. 

-Who the fuck is Zola? Mom, what is this? - Freya looked frightened at her mom, getting desperate by the minute. 

-Honey... - her mother began, but, Khaled slapped her. Freya screamed. The man in the shadows didn't moved. 

-You. Will. Come. With. Us. - Khaled said slowly, pointing the gun at her. 

-I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! - Freya shouted. Her mother covered her face with her hands. - You can tell this Zola guy to fuck off and leave us alone! 

Khaled gave her a cold smile. 

-You will come with us.

-NO!

-Then, maybe this will change your mind. 

He pointed the gun. But not to her, but to her mother's head. And shot. 

The whole world seemed to froze while her mother fell. 

Freya screamed and cried, she turned to the motherfucker who had just killed her mother, but before she could do anything, the man in the shadows was there. He held her by the waist and injected something into her arm. 

 

Freya didn't saw anything else. 

  
  



	3. Bucky.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky visits a place from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by the song “Thousand Eyes” from Of Monsters and Men. This was first time writing Marvel, and like I said before, english is not my first language, I also wrote the entire story in portuguese and now I’m translating it to english, so watch out for grammar mistakes!
> 
> Please, let me know what you think! :)
> 
> TW: Torture, abuse.

**Montauk Theater,  New York. Now.**

  
  


Bucky never thought he would go back to that place. One of his most clear memories. That was the place where they wiped his memory for the last time, when he remembered Steve. He still remembered the men in the room and the shock that ran through his body.

And now he was back. Two years later. His memory intact for so long. Free, or as free as he could be after all the things he done. He was back not as the Winter Soldier, but as himself. James Buchanan Barnes. An Avenger. 

Bucky walked through the control room, straight to the hallway that would lead to the cells, while Clint, Steve and Tony searched the place. 

The base had been found only two months ago, but it seemed to be deactivated for at least a year, according to the FBI. Whoever was responsible for the base had destroyed everything and killed all the prisoners. Bucky heard Sharon Carter telling Steve that the FBI had found the bodies. 

He walked through the hallway and into the area of the cells, now deserted. His head was spinning, blurry memories coming back. Men, women and even some children. Those prisoners weren’t meant to be tested, he remembered, they were used to blackmail and force people to work for HYDRA. Bucky remembered walking through those corridors, stolid, making his way to the people who deserved HYDRA’s attention. The one’s Zola chose. 

“Bucky?”, Steve’s voice broke the silence. 

Bucky turned to him, his chest heavy. 

“You’re okay?”, Steve asked approaching him.

“I remember this place”, he said in a low voice, “this is where they wiped my memory for the last time”. 

Steve looked at him, sometimes, when he didn’t know what to say he would just put a hand on his friend's shoulder and stared at him, waiting for Bucky to tell more. 

“These cells”, Bucky continued, “they weren’t meant for experiments. They were meant to other prisoners, to treat their families or to make them work for HYDRA.”

Steve nodded. 

Bucky closed his eyes, trying to remember. Her voice filled his mind. “ _ Undo this storm, undo this storm, undo this storm. And wait”.  _

He walked to the end of the corridor and turned right, walking to where the solitary cells used to be. Bucky wasn’t surprised to know the way so well,the most important prisoners were kept in that corridor. He walked to the last cell, her voice still in his mind. He could hear Steve’s steps behind him. 

The door to the last cell was half-open  and he got inside, but the place was empty. 

“Do you remember anything else, Buck?”

“There was a girl in this cell. She used to sing…”, he whispered more to himself than to Steve, “I used to take her, sometimes… I just don’t remember exactly to where. It had something to do with Zola”. 

“Do you remember her face?”, Steve asked curious. Bucky had never talked about a girl before. 

“No, it’s all a blur. I remember her voice, the song she used to sing. I remember that she had red hair…”

He saw Steve frowning. 

“I think I harmed her, Steve… But I’m not very sure…”

“Whatever you did, it was HYDRA. Not you, not willingly”.

“ _ Guys”, _ Tony’s voice came through the comm, “ _ time to go. There’s nothing here, they cleaned the place up” _ . 

“Copy that”, Steve answered, “Let’s go?”

“They killed everyone, didn’t they?”, Bucky asked catching Steve off guard, “I mean, the prisoners. It’s okay, I heard you and Sharon talking the other day”. 

“Yes. There were 150 prisoners”. 

“I want to see the pictures. I want to see who they were. I want to see if she is among them”. 

“You don’t have to do this, Bucky, You don’t have to torture yourself like that”. 

“I have to, Steve”. 

Steve sighed. 

“I’ll talk to Sharon, see what I can do”. 

“Thanks, man”. 

 

The four went back to the Avengers Tower and reunited with the others to brief them about the mission. Only Sam and Wanda were present, and after listening to Tony, Clint and Steve telling them about the base, Bucky went to his room. 

Bucky took his notebook and a pen and sat at his desk, next to the window. The sun was setting and he took a deep breath before starting to write. He wrote about the base and the people he remembered, Zola’s voice coming out of a computer. Her red hair. Her music. He wrote about the torture sessions he witnessed in that place - they were a blur, screams coming from different bodies - and about having his memory erased for the last time. 

He didn’t know for how long he wrote, but it was very dark outside when he looked out of the window. Bucky rubbed his eyes and was about to get up and maybe get something to eat when somebody knocked on the door. 

“Come in”, he said. 

It was Wanda. 

“Steve just went out with Sharon, but asked me to give you this”. 

She handed him a folder. 

“Thanks, Wanda”. 

The witch smiled and left. 

Bucky waited until she closed the door and opened the folder. Inside there were photos. The dead prisoners. He hesitated for a moment before looking at the first photo - a man with a single shot in his forehead - and, knowing it would be better if he just finished that once and for all, the continued. 

150 prisoners. All dead. Bucky looked at every single one of the photos wondering if the ever hurt them at some point. Which he probably did. He remembered some of the faces, but, didn’t know why they were brought to that place. He didn’t had to know. He had to do his job. 

But she wasn’t there. 

Bucky didn’t know if he should feel relieved or worried. She could have escaped or being killed a long time ago. 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**HYDRA Base. Russia. 2008.**

 

Her screams filled the room. 

The Winter Soldier didn’t move. Just watched her body writhing in pain with closed fists. Something about that scene was bothering him, but, he didn’t looked away. 

“I told you to access the code!”, a cold male voice said.

The girl cringed. 

“Please, stop… I-I don’t know how…”

The man hit her again. 

“Access the code!”

“P-Please…’, she cried. He should be feeling something. Maybe repulsion, but felt nothing. 

“If you’re not gonna do it for good”, the man signaled him and he approached them, “maybe you’ll need a push”. 

He was very close to her. The man signaled again and he reached out his metal arm towards her neck. 

“NO!”, the girl screamed, “STOP! I’ll access it… please, don’t hurt me…”

He lowered his arm. The man smiled. 

“Good girl. Now, let’s get to work”


	4. Freya.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya arrives in New York and tries to understand what happened after she ran away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by the song “Thousand Eyes” from Of Monsters and Men, so if you want to, check the song out because it's amazing! 
> 
> And this was my first time writing Marvel, like I said before, english is not my first language and I wrote the entire fic in portuguese and am now translating it to english, so bare with me!
> 
> And please, let me know your thoughts so far!

**New York, USA.**

  
  


Freya passed the immigration without any problems, the documents she faked for herself as Karen Williams were impeccable. She walked out of the airport and through the busy street without knowing where to go. The address she had given to the immigration was a fake house used by the corrupt politician from whom she stole her money. So she had nowhere to go.

It was early fall and the weather was getting colder, so, she decided to walk to a cafe nearby, making sure to keep her head down. She was right under HYDRA’s nose and it would be insane not to make sure she wasn’t dragging any attention. They always found her. Even though she was always extremely careful, they always found her somehow.  

Freya ordered a hot chocolate and a cheese sandwich. After grabbing her food, she sat at a table close to the window and grabbed her phone. She had bought the device in the airport store. It was a burner phone which help hampered the tracking of it, but, just to make sure, she accessed the settings and changed the cryptography of the phone.

She took a bite of her sandwich wondering where she could go. After escaping of HYDRA she had stole some money and gone by bus to the canadian border, where she paid to get through, and after that, Freya tried her best to stay away from the US and from Russia. 

She considered her options: a hotel was out of the question, even though she could afford a few nights in one. She didn’t wanted to stay in a hostel either. Freya had stayed in one in Canada and they found her on the next day. Anyone could be a threat. 

But after considering all the places she could go, it felt like a hostel was her only option. She finished working on her phone and opened the browser, searching for hostels. Eventually she found one only for women on Brooklyn. She called the place and made an appointment. After, she opened a brazilian news website and saw that the deaths in the park were the main headlines. Freya tensed up, relaxing only after reading that the brazilian police had no clue about the killer. 

She finished her hot chocolate and ordered another, feeling more hectic because of the amount of sugar - since her time at HYDRA she had become extremely sensitive to sugar and caffeine. She opened an american news website and searched for the Avengers. The addition of the Winter Soldier to the team was the most commented news, some people saying that he deserved the privileged and some people saying that “he was nothing but a killer who deserved to die for his crimes”. Freya looked at his distant expression in the photo. What the hell was she doing? Why simply hearing his name made her run to where he was at?

Freya finished her second hot chocolate, payed and left. 

Without nothing else to do and without a plan, she walked down the subway stairs and to the hostel address.

The owner was an old scottish lady who loved Freya the moment she heard her accent. The hostel was near the Brooklyn Bridge and it was perfect, nobody would look for her there. She paid two weeks in cash and the old lady left her alone in her new bedroom. 

The place was small, but, had everything she needed. And view from the window overlooked the main avenue, which was perfect. 

Freya took her shoes off and grabbed her laptop in her backpack, thinking about her next step. She encrypted the hostel connection and accessed the FBI website. She had managed to get a level 4 access code, but it was too risk use it in Brazil. Maybe now it would be less dangerous.  

The code was too inferior for most files, but she could still access profiles and less important data, which was better than nothing. First she searched for her own name: a photo from when she was 14 years old appeared along with some personal information and the status “Missing”, followed by a new observation: “Possible contact with HYDRA. Immediate Arrest”. 

_ Great! _ , she thought with sarcasm,  _ Now the FBI is looking for me too. That’s amazing! _

Then she searched her mother’s boyfriend name: Khaled Kampmann. Deceased. The picture was old, from his time at the army and she felt sick, looking at the face of the man who tortured her for so many years, along with a new feeling. Would it be happiness? No, it was something more dark than that, it was satisfaction to know that he was dead. 

_ I hope you had a very painful death, you son of a bitch _ . 

She then searched for her mother’s name - Irene Hatkins - but there was nothing. It was weird that they didn’t had any information about her, but, Freya decided that it would be better if she didn’t get too deep with her mother’s data. It would drawn a lot of suspicion if someone intercepted her connection and she didn’t want to think about her mother. 

So she search what she really wanted to know: HYDRA. 

There were hundreds of thousands of documents about them, all up to date and half of them blocked for her access level, but what she could access was enough for her to have an idea of what was going on.   

The FBI and the Avengers had done a great progress finishing the rest of the organization, but from what she read, HYDRA hadn’t been completely extinguished. She kept searching for any clue of what they could be doing now, but wouldn’t be able to access any of the files without drawing attention, except for the folder with the location of the bases. 

Freya scrolled through the locations until one name caught her eye: Montauk Theater. Her heart was beating fast when she clicked on the name, reading all the reports. The base where she escaped from had been found by the FBI two months ago. The servers had been wiped clean - impossible to recover, said the report - and every single one of the 150 prisoner had been executed. Innocent people killed by HYDRA. Again. 

Freya couldn’t look at the photos.  _ It could’ve been me _ , she thought,  _ I could be dead right now _ . 

Guilt crawled through her. Freya should be dead with the others, she shouldn’t have escaped by herself, leaving the others behind. In a way, it was her fault. 

Freya closed her eyes and took a deep breath thinking about her next move. She closed the laptop and locked the bedroom door, knowing exactly where to go, even though, deep down she knew she just had a very stupid idea.

* * *

 

 

**BEFORE**

**HYDRA Base - Russia - 2009**

  
  


After all those months, she had learned to do what she was told. Whether it was in that control room inside that base in the middle of nowhere or in her cell, that felt like a nightmare in the long nights where she couldn’t be alone. 

Her life was a nightmare. 

She was sitting in her usual place, looking at the computer screen and doing what she was told with Zola watching her from the usual monitor screen. He was everywhere, always watching. 

She heard footsteps and the door was opened. It was Kampmann, followed by several of his man and  _ he _ was with them. The Winter Soldier. By the corner of her eye, she saw him sitting in that horrible chair, breathless, his clothes covered in blood. She felt a chill running down her spine and looked back to the computer screen. 

“Mission report”, Zola’s voice echoed through the room. 

“Targets were eliminated”, The Soldier answered, his voice cold and empty. 

“Well done, sergeant Barnes. Kampmann, wipe his memory and take him back to the ice”, Zola commanded. 

Curiosity took over her and she turned her head to look at him. The soldier had his eyes closed, his chest was panting and when the shocks began, all she could hear were his screams. 

“Go back to work, little bird”, Zola said, “soon we’ll have finished”. 

And she lowered her head and obeyed while Kampmann carried the Soldier away.     
  



	5. Bucky.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Bucky is haunted by his nightmares, but this time he could have gone too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by the song “Thousand Eyes” from Of Monsters and Men, so if you want to, check the song out because it's amazing!
> 
> And this was my first time writing Marvel, like I said before, english is not my first language and I wrote the entire fic in portuguese and am now translating it to english, so bare with me!
> 
> And please, let me know your thoughts so far!
> 
> TW: Mentions of abuse, nightmares, torture, Bucky suffering and a small The Walking Dead spoiler.

**Avengers Compound, New York.**

  
  


This time the face of the dead haunted his dreams. Different, bloody faces. They asked, begged and cried. And then her voice filled him again.  _ I lie awake and watch it all, it feels like thousand eyes.  _

Bucky opened his eyes, tired of his dreams, tired of trying to sleep when he knew that only bad dreams would come from that. He could try to have a normal life, he could try to do good things, but he couldn’t run away from his past, especially at night. 

_ I lie awake and watch it all, it feels like thousand eyes.  _

And her voice again. Frustrated, Bucky gave up on his ridiculous attempt of sleep and went to the kitchen. The tower was quiet, everyone was probably sleeping, except from Sam, who was watching TV in the living room. 

Bucky grabbed some plums in the fridge and decided to join Sam in the living room. At less he could annoy him, and as soon as he entered the room, Sam sighed, making him smile.

“Plums again, tin man?”, Sam  asked. 

Bucky bit the fruit before answering. 

“It’s good for your memory”. 

“God, you sound like my grandmother”, Sam retorted, “But I always forget that you have almost the same age, so…”

“That’s true. But if your grandma and I have the same age, have you ever stop to think that I could’ve gone out with her at some point? I bet that she was a real beauty back in the day…”

“Urgh, shut up Barnes! That’s disgusting! She’s my grandma for fucks sake!”

Bucky laughed, he loved to annoy Sam.

“I could have been your grandpa, Wilson! Have you thought about that?”

Sam made a face.

“Can you please respect my grandma?What the fuck!”

Bucky laughed even more. 

“Don’t you have anything else to do with your life other than being a pain in the ass?”

“Actually, no”, Bucky replied while eating another plum, “ I couldn’t sleep so I thought ‘why don’t I go and annoy Sam a little? I bet he’s not doing anything useful anyway’”. 

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious Barnes”, Sam retorted, looking at the TV screen again. 

“What are you watching?”, Bucky asked curious. 

“It’s a tutorial: 10 Ways To Painfully Kill The Winter Soldier. It’s very interesting!”

Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Be serious, Wilson!”

“I’m watching The Walking Dead, happy now?”

“Is it the one about zombies?”

“Yes, old man”. 

“What episode are you watching?”

“The one where Lori died”, Sam said, smiling with the spoiler. 

Bucky didn't really cared about spoilers, after 70 years out of the world everything was a spoiler, so he grabbed some more plums in the kitchen and watched the episode with Sam, getting so caught up in the story that he even forgot to annoy him. Bucky kept watching even after Sam had gone to bed and when he fell asleep, he was already half way through the season. 

The dream was different.  _ This time he was inside her cell. She was curled up in a corner, crying. Her clothes were torn, her arms filled with purple bruises. There were two bodies in the small space. His hands were soiled with blood. He approached her.  _

Bucky screamed and sat down, startled. What had he done? How could he done that? Of all the terrible things he did… Could that be one of them? Did he really hurt her that way? How could he live with himself if he really did something so terrible and disgusting? 

Bucky got up from the couch, trying to put his thoughts in order. He went back to his bedroom and took the photos from the theater. He needed to understand. He needed to remember. 

Then it occurred to him, if she wasn't among the dead, she could be among the missing. He left his bedroom and went to the conference room. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y”, he called. 

“ _ Yes, sergeant Barnes” _ , the female voice of the artificial system reply. 

“Do you have access to the HYDRA’s missing victims?”

“ _ Yes, sergeant” _ .

“Show me”. 

The projector screen lit up, showing several folders. 

“ _ Are you looking for something specific?” _

“Yes! It’s a girl… She has red hair and was forced to work for HYDRA”. 

“ _ Searching for females with the same description. Showing results from 1940 to 2014. 70 results”. _

The screen was filled with photos of redheaded women of several decades, but it wasn’t any of them. Bucky closed his eyes, forcing his memory. 

“It was recent… She was still there when I escaped”. 

“ _ Filtering search for 2014. One result” _ . 

Bucky held his breath when her picture appeared on the screen. She must have been 14 years old, but her red hair was long and curly, a smile making her chubby cheeks blush. Bucky had found her. 

 

 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**Naval Base Krasheninnikov, Russia, 2009**

  
  
  


He had to take her there. This time she didn’t cried, she didn’t fought, she didn’t spoke. She seemed defeated. 

They walked down the crowded hallway to the base control room. Kampmann was there. And Zola. 

“Time to test what you've learned, my dear.”, Zola's voice echoed through the room. 

She moved to the chair in front of the control panel and sat down. He stood beside Kampmann, a revolver in his hands, ready to take action if necessary. 

She looked at the screen, concentrated and began to type something. She was quick, she knew what she was doing. The men around them watched in silence. 

One of the monitors showed the distant image of an American military base. 

He looked from the screen to the girl. She typed a few more commands and the image on the monitor got closer. She stopped typing and looked at Kampmann. 

“Now”, Commanded Kampmann. 

He thought he had seen silent tears fall from her eyes as she typed a last command and the image on the screen became a jumble of fire and debris.

 


	6. Freya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bird? A plane? No, it's me with a new chapter after almost a year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the really late update, tbh I don't know what to say other than so much has happened that I couldn't even think about translating the story and updating you, so I'm sorry!
> 
> I really hope you like the new chapter and don't give up on me, I promise I'll try to post more soon!

**Montauk Theater - New York.**

  
  


Freya was hiding in a corner on the other side of the street, looking disguisedly at the abandoned theater that used to be a HYDRA base. 

Two men were guarding the entrance, their posture and wary looks giving away that they were obviously FBI agents. A little further down the street, a black van was parked and the driver  was constantly checking the area outside the theater. Of course there were more agents that she couldn't see, not to mention the security cameras and the agents  _ inside  _ the base. 

Being there was a really stupid idea, especially now that she knew what the FBI was looking for her, but something inside of her was saying that she should be there. Like a feeling she couldn’t ignore. Like she had to finish something even if she had no idea what it was, if only she could remember…

The night of her escape was a blur, she remembered Kampmann visiting her cell - she knew it was the night time because they always came at night - and she remembered when he dragged her to the control room and touched her. But the rest of the night was a mess of pain, screams, adrenaline and… Something else that she couldn’t quite understand. Freya didn’t remembered how she had managed to get out, all she could remember was that she wanted to make it stop. And she did. 

Freya made her way back to the street she entered and turned around the corner and around the block, making sure to act as one more of those people who were too busy with their cell phones to pay attention to her surroundings. She walked into an alley that would lead to the back entrance of the theater and slowed her footsteps. There was a security camera outside the shop next to the alley that could show where she was. Grabbing her phone, she clicked in the police app she had managed to hack on her way to the theater and deactivated the camera.

Freya stop abruptly and hid behind one of the massive trash cans of the alley when she saw two agents guarding the back door. She pondered with herself that maybe that was a sing for her to leave and don’t come back, but the adrenaline in her pulse made her heart race and she considered what her next step would be.  

She wasn’t a good fighter but knew enough to defend herself - something that always ended with her having to improvise and getting in trouble. HYDRA never wanted her for her strength. They wanted her because she was smart, the best with computers,  _ a young prodigee _ , her teachers used to say.  A little “genius”, Zola used to say even though he never made her feel like one. So she was going to need her brains to get out of that one. 

She looked at her phone, hiding there among the trash, and thought about her next move. She accessed her phone connections and saw that the bluetooth from the agents phones were activated. She accessed the phone of one of them and checked his messages. The last message was from a contact called “Boss” and was a command to guard that part of the theater. 

First, Freya sent a message from a restricted number to “Boss” saying that she saw a suspicious movement close to the subway station, then she sent a message for each of the agents pretending to be “Boss” and ordering them to go to the station and check the place. 

She watched as the agents discussed the new orders and released a breath she didn't know she was holding when they obeyed the command and left, leaving the backdoor entrance empty.

She waited a few seconds before walking to the door and trying the doorknob, already knowing that she would have to break in somehow. But the door was open, always a bad sign. She was sure somebody was inside waiting for her. The place smelled and it wasn’t only because she was hiding in between trash bags just a few seconds ago. But that same weird feeling from when she attacked those men in Brazil took over her again.

And she walked in. 

It was dark inside and she turned the flashlight on her phone on. The hallway was deserted. She remembered that part of the theater, she had run through that exact same door that night.

Freya kept walking fast, not knowing exactly where she was going to until she reached the end of the hallway. If she turned right, the hallways would take her to the cells, the torture chambers and the training rooms. If she turned left, the hallways would take her to infirmary, the arsenal and the control room. 

She wasn’t going back to the cells and the torture chambers not even if the devil himself forced her to, so there was only one way to go. She turned left, not even bothering to look at the other doors. There was only one place for her to go. The last door of the hallway. 

She stopped right in front of the control room door and activated the infra red of her phone, The place was empty and if someone was hiding inside the other rooms, they were making damn sure to not make a sound, so Freya opened the door and walked in. 

Freya had been inside that room so many times over the years that she knew the place with her eyes closed and with the exception of the dust and dirt covering the screens, tables and chairs, it felt like she was back in time. 

Her heart was beating out of her chest, as Freya thought about what she was going to do. She looked at the huge servers, next to the door she had just walked through. They were still there, the FBI couldn’t accessed them. The reports said that everything was destroyed. 

But, Freya was the one who programmed those servers. She knew the codes like the back of her hand. She knew about a small malfunction on them, a malfunction she had created trying to sabotage Zola’s work before she escaped. And she knew that it was possible to recover them. 

Without thinking, Freya touched the first server and the thing turned on. It was when several things happened all at once.

First the lights started flashing and Zola’s voice was everywhere,  _ laughing _ . Than, men with guns in hands walked inside, screaming at her things she couldn’t understand. And someone made her trip and fall, holding her arms behind her back. The lights were still flashing and all she could see was a woman with blond hair and a FBI jacket looking at her and saying: 

“Freya Hatkins, you’re under arrest”. 

 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**HYDRA Base. Russia, 2010.**

 

Her screams filled the room. 

She thought it was over. She was cooperating and doing everything they told her to do, but still it wasn’t enough. 

She felt when they injected something in her veins and her body burned, more screams coming out of her lungs. 

Her life was destroyed two years ago when they took her away and, yet, pieces of her were still being destroyed everyday. With every touch, every order, every injection. She just wanted it to be over. 

When another needle touched her skin, she tried to escape but strong arms held her in place.

“That’s enough”, a rough voice said next to her. She couldn’t see his face, but tension filled the room. 

“What did you just said,  _ soldat _ ?, Kampmann asked, cooly. 

“I said that that’s enough”,  _ he _ said, “You’re going to kill her this way”. 

She heard the sound of a slap and flinched, tears streaming down her face. Kampmann slapped him. 

“Don’t talk to me like that again,  _ soldat _ ”, Kampmann said, his tone never changing while he turned to the man who was holding another needle, “Continue”.

“Yes, sir”, the other complied and she screamed when her body started to burn again.  


	7. Bucky

**FBI Headquarters - New York.**

  
  
  


Bucky followed Sharon and Steve into her office. Sharon indicated the chairs in front of her desk and they took a seat. 

“We found a girl that matches the description you gave to Steve, Barnes”, Sharon said. 

Steve had briefly explained what had happened on their way to the FBI headquarters, but he still couldn’t believe it. 

Bucky looked at Sharon. 

“How did you found her so fast?”

“Actually, she found us”, Sharon replied. Bucky frowned. “When we were arresting her for invading the control room of the Montauk Theater”. 

“You didn’t told me that she was under arrest”, Steve pointed out. 

“She was forced to work for HYDRA”, Bucky spoke, outraged. 

“She invaded a military base guarded by a few of my best man, by herself”, Sharon retorted, “And I’m going to interrogate her anyway, so I thought you might want to watch it”. 

“Of course, thank you”. Steve thanked his girlfriend. They exchanged a look that made Bucky look at his own feet, uncomfortable. 

“Come with me”. 

They walked out of the office and went up two floor, to the interrogation room. Steve and Bucky went to the observation room while Sharon walked inside the room that she was in. 

Bucky approached the glass to look at her.  _ It was her _ . He exhaled loudly when he saw her. Her hair was bigger than he remembered and she looked healthier, but, her expression showed nothing but anxiety. 

“It’s her”, he said out loud this time. 

Inside the interrogation room, Sharon sat in front of the girl, a few papers in hand. The girl’s expression didn’t soften. 

“Hello, Freya. I’m Agent Carter and I’ll be handling this interview. Can you please state your full name?”

“Freya Margareth Hatkins”, the girl whispered not looking at the blonde woman.

“You were last seen in Sheffield, England, in july of 2008”, Sharon read and stared at Freya,  “What were you doing inside that theater?”, Sharon asked. 

Freya shrugged and did not respond. 

“Who sent you there? HYDRA?”

Freya let out a mocking laugh and raised an eyebrow at Sharon. 

“You think  _ HYDRA _ sent me there?”, she asked and that was the first time she had spoken since her arrest. 

Bucky remembered her voice, but instead of sarcasm, he remembered her cries and pleas and that made his heart ache. 

“They didn’t?”, Sharon asked her, “You hacked the phones of three of my agents just to get inside the place that you used to work at. If HYDRA didn’t sent you there, what were you doing inside that control room in the first place?” 

Freya stared at her own hands and Sharon opened her mouth to ask something, but the girl interrupted her, her voice low:

“I didn’t work there, I was  _ kept _ there” Freya looked at Sharon, her expression cooling, “And why should I tell anything? You could be HYDRA for all I know”. 

“I’m not HYDRA”, Sharon reassured, “You’re safe here. HYDRA is over”. 

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that and you might get some sleep at night”, Freya replied with sarcasm.

Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky notice Steve tensing with those words.

“What do you mean by that, Freya?”, Sharon asked, leaning towards the hacker. The girl looked away.

“I’ve been trying to run from HYDRA for a year now, but they always find me. So, if HYDRA was really over they wouldn’t be looking for me, would they?”

“Did you knew about that?”, Steve asked on the other side of the glass.

“No”, Bucky replied, “I mean, back when I was hiding they did tried to bring me back, but after a few months it stopped.”

Steve was about to reply when the door swung open and Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff walked in.

“What the hell are you guys doing here?”, Bucky asked surprised.

“I got a call from Ross, saying that the FBI arrested a HYDRA member trying to break into Montauk and that the two of you were here. But, I guess you just forgot to tell me, right?”, Tony asked taking a look at the room where Freya and Sharon talked.

“She’s not HYDRA”, Bucky retorted.

“And how do you know that, Barnes”, Natasha asked with one eyebrow raised. 

“I remember her. She was a prisoner, not an agent”.

“She might have converted”, Natasha pointed out.

“And what was she doing in that place, anyway?” Tony asked.

“That’s what we’re trying to find out”, Steve replied, “Maybe if we pay attention to the interrogation…”

The four turned to the glass window.

“She too young”, Tony commented, “what HYDRA could possibly want with someone her age?”

“I don’t remember”, Bucky said looking at Freya. She was staring at Sharon with a frown, “But it had to do with Zola”.

“Shh, pay attention!”, Natasha exclaimed.

“... and what made you escape?”, Sharon was asking in the interrogation room.

“Let’s just say I didn't intend to spend my whole life captive”, Freya replied, ironic.

“How long were you they’re prisoner for?”

“Since 2008. I was 14 when they took me”.

“What happened?”

“I was coming back home from school, for the summer. When I got home, they were there with my mom”. 

“Who?”

“My mother’s “boyfriend”, Khaled Kampmann. Turns out that he was a HYDRA commander. And… The Winter Soldier”.

Bucky felt the stares of the other three, but kept looking at Freya, fearing what she might say next.

“And what happened when you got home?”, Sharon asked bringing the attention back to the them.

“Kampmann said that I should go with them, that they were watching me for years. I said no… so he killed my mother and took me anyway”.

“I’m sorry”, said Sharon.

“Yeah, me too”. Freya replied a bit coldly.

“Do you remember this, Buck?”, Steve asked staring at him.

“No”, Bucky said slowly searching his confused memories, “But it must be true. Not all of my missions were to assassinate”.

Bucky noticed Tony’s cold stare and looked away. He knew what Tony was thinking about and even though, he had accepted him at the tower and even on the team, Tony would never forget or truly forgive what he had done. With reason. 

“I’m searching a little more about her”, Natasha said, scrolling through her phone, “and the girl is a little genius. At 13 she created a software that would predict the questions and answers to every school exam and sent it to every student at her school”.

“I like her already”, Tony laughed. 

“But, if she’s a little genius, what was her job at HYDRA?” Steve asked thoughtfully.

“She worked directly with Zola”, Bucky told them, the memory returning to him, “She was always in the control room with him”. 

“Zola?”, Steve asked worried, “That can’t be good!”

Bucky nodded in agreement, paying attention to the interrogation room again.

“What did you had to do for them, Freya?”

“A bit of everything…” Freya replied vaguely.

“Like what?”, Sharon raised an eyebrow at the red haired girl.

Freya hesitated before replying:

“Programing, strategy… This kind of thing”.

“And what were you programming?”

“An algorithm. But I think you already know about it. The one that could predict the next steps of the human race and locate anyone that could be a problem for HYDRA”.

“ _ You _ worked on Zola’s algorithm?” Sharon asked surprised, “But the algorithm was destroyed two years ago, along with Zola”.

“And I ran a little after that”, Freya told her.

“Okay, but, you still haven't told me what the hell you were doing in Montauk”, Sharon returned to the beginning of the conversation.

“I… I just wanted to go there… To see… It was where I escaped from and I heard that they killed everyone else… I just felt that I needed to  _ see” _ .

Sharon gave her an appraising look. 

“Thank you for telling me this, Freya. I’ll be back in a minute”.

Sharon stood up and left the room, joining the others in the observation room.

“What do you think?”, Steve asked as soon as she walked in.

“That she talked a lot but didn’t said anything.”, she replied, “I’ll request a psychological evaluation. You told me that you remember her, Barnes, what exactly do you remember?”

“I had to take her to Zola sometimes, or to other places so she could do her tasks. But, nobody never told me exactly  _ what _ they were”, Bucky told them, choosing not to tell about is latest dream. It would be better if they didn’t know for now. 

“Do you reckon she might have any powers?”, Sharon asked.

“I remember her being tortured, but this is HYDRA we’re talking about. Anything is possible with them”. 

The four agreed. 

“I’ll call one of our therapists”, Sharon said, but Bucky interrupted her:

“I want to talk to her”, he asked suddenly, his last dream returning to his memories.

“Bucky…” Steve began with a warning tone.

He looked at the others.

“Why, Barnes? It’s not a good idea”, Sharon objected.

“The last thing this girl needs is to see the Winter Soldier now. You heard what she said about her mother”. Tony agreed with Sharon. 

“She seems scared, seeing you could trigger something bad for her”  Natasha pointed out “On the other hand, she might open herself a little more with him. They were both used by HYDRA”. 

“Or maybe that’s exactly what she wants, for you go to talk to her. I still don’t trust this girl, Barnes. What if she knows how to trigger you? What if is a trap?”

“She’s not HYDRA!”, Bucky insisted, “And I doubt that could be a trap, don’t you see how scared she looks?”

“It doesn't look like a trap”, Steve agreed looking at Freya thoughtfully, and Bucky thanked him mentally, “But HYDRA tortured her for years, and you were there when they killed her mother. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk to her”.

Bucky sighed. He knew that Steve was right, but, he also needed to talk to her. To clear everything. Understand. He needed to talk to her and look at her no through a glass or while being the Winter Soldier. 

“Please, I won’t hurt her or pressure her. If she doesn’t want to talk, I won’t force it”. 

He looked from Tony to Natasha than to Steve and Sharon. The agent sighed. 

“You have 5 minutes, Barnes. But, I swear that if something happens, if this girl freaks out or triggers you into killing everyone, I’ll kill you myself!”   
  


* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA - 2010.**

  
  


His body was cold and his mind was weak and confused. The other soldiers dragged him to the chair and a soft “please” came from his lips, his body already trying to escape the pain. Before  they fried his brain once again, he noticed a flash of red hair. _She_ was there, why would they make her watch something like that? Why would they take her to a place so far like that base?

That night, after his mission was successfully complete, he walked through the cells on his way to the showers, avoiding the eyes of a couple of low rank soldiers who walked past him, laughing and adjusting their clothes. 

He noticed her cell at the end of the long corridor and remembering her voice, he approached the locked door, not sure what he was hoping for. But there was no music coming through the iron door, but a low cry. 

He pushed open small hatch and looked inside. She was there, sitting in a corner on the floor, her clothes and her hair were a complete mess, while tears fell from her eyes. A sudden understand hit the soldat and he stepped away, feeling nauseous. 


	8. Freya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know your thoughts so far! And, check the fic's playlist because it inspired me a lot when I was writing the story:   
> https://open.spotify.com/user/12150965470/playlist/78pBxsyDNlD0jvolV2k1js

**Interrogation Room - FBI.**

 

When the door opened and he walked in, Freya exhaled slowly. Of all the people she thought she would see, he didn’t even crossed her mind. Had he listened to her conversation with that agent?

He stood by the door, staring at her. His blue eyes scanning her face, recognizing her. Freya started to feel uncomfortable.

“May I seat?”, he broke the silence. Freya was taken by surprised with the softness of his tone and nodded.

Bucky sat in front of her and it was Freya’s turn to scan him, his long hair was in a low bun and his beard was dark, his stormy blue eyes never left her stare, but there was no coldness, nothing that reminded her of the Winter Soldier. He seemed concerned, maybe even hesitant.

“Freya…” he began but swallowed and said nothing. That was the first time she had heard her own name coming from his lips, and her heart started to beat faster. The room was so silent that she didn’t doubt that he could hear it.

“I-I remember you”, he spoke again. That really caught her by surprise. Freya could never forget him, but with all the things HYDRA had put him through, she didn’t expect that she would be one of the things he remember.

“You do?”, she finally asked, “What do you remember?”

“Fragments. I remember taking you to Zola a few times. I remember that you used to work for him… I remember that you used to cry sometimes... I remember listening to you singing in your cell”.

Freya said nothing, her heart was beating so loud that it would probably burst out of her chest. Her memories flooding her brain, memories she tried to forget. She fought back the tears, _I’m not crying in front of him_.

“Im sorry”, Bucky said, never taking his eyes off of her. “I’m sorry that you had to go through all that”.

“I don’t want to talk about it”, she cut it, her hands shaking.

“Sorry”, Bucky said again.

“What do you want from me?”, Freya asked abruptly, her tone surprising Bucky.

“I want to help you”, Bucky replied honestly, “I know that you think you’re not safe here, but you are”.

Freya looked away and into the dark glass, and to whoever was listening to their conversation. When had she become so slow? They certainly sent him there hoping that she would open her mouth.

“You can’t help me”, she retorted. “I shouldn’t have gone to the theater, but I didn’t do nothing wrong, so there’s nothing to worry about. I can’t help you”.

Bucky frowned.

There was a knock on the door, but he kept staring at her. Freya looked away, her legs shaking. There was another knock and this time, Bucky got to his feet.

“I’m really sorry for what they did to you”.

The words came out of Freya’s mouth before she could control herself. Bucky gave her a sad look and nodded, than walked out of the door.

Freya fought the tears threatening to fall from her eyes and closed her hands to stop them from shaking.

 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA - NOVEMBER OF 2010**

  


She was tired, her head was spinning fast and she couldn’t remember the last time she had slept. She had been working for days non stop now, her own thoughts lost deep down. Like something was taking control of her brain. It had been so long since she had been free that she couldn’t even remember the feeling anymore.

“Soldat?”, she heard Kampmann’s voice. She had discovered when she arrived that that was the place where they kept him. Frozen for most of the time and only awakened when his services were needed.

“Sir?”, he replied.

“Take her back to her cell”, Kampmann ordered.

She felt his hands on her hips, helping her get up and out of the room. One cold and other warm, his touch was kinder than she expected. He made her wrapped her arms around his neck and held her legs, carrying her out of the room.

His hands were gentle and his arms were strong, the metal one holding the back of her knees like she weighted nothing. She was so tired and his touch was much more warm and kind than the one from the other soldiers that visited her at night, that she laid her head on his shoulder.

He carried her to her cell and laid her on the small bed, covering her body with a simple blanket. She couldn’t tell if it was her mind playing tricks on her, but she could swear that she felt his human hand touching her face slightly, before he left, closing her cell door.


	9. Bucky

**FBI Headquarters - New York.**

 

“Congratulations, Barnes! You just made things worse!”, Tony exclaimed when he walked in. 

Bucky didn’t replied, but looked at Freya on the other side of the glass. Her body was shaking and her eyes were full of tears. Sensing that she was being observed, she turned her back to them. 

“What’s gonna happen to her now?”, Steve asked.

“We’re keeping her here for now, our psychiatrist will give her a psychological evaluation and we’ll see what’s next, but, probably extradition”, Sharon replied. 

“I want to stay. For the evaluation”. Bucky affirmed.

“No”, said Tony.

“You can’t tell me what to do!”, Bucky retorted.

“No, but Sharon is the boss here and while you were giving the girl a panic attack, we decided that it’s better for you to not get involved anymore”. 

Bucky looked at Sharon.

“It’s better for now, Barnes”, she sighed. 

“We found her, pal. Let the FBI take care of it now”, Steve said.

“If HYDRA is looking for her she needs protection!” Bucky argued, even though he knew that the argument was lost. 

“I agree, but, we haven’t tested if HYDRA still has control over you. If they do, how can you protect her from yourself, Barnes?”, Natasha gave the final blow.

“Don’t worry, Barnes, I’ll stay and wait for the evaluation,” Tony said “It’s best if you go back to the tower”. 

Defeated, Bucky agreed.

“But, I want to know what happens to her”.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y will send you updates, don’t worry”.

“Thanks, Tony”. 

“C’mon man”, said Steve and, Bucky gave the girl on the other side of the glass a last glance before following his best friend back home. 

* * *

Vision was waiting for them on the living room.

“You have a mission”, he said when Bucky and Steve walked in, looking tired. 

“What is it?”, asked Steve.

“Another HYDRA base. Montreal this time”. 

“Another? Who gave the intel?”

“The FBI. According to them, a anonymous source contact about what it seems to be an empty military base north of Montreal. It looks like the kind of the place that HYDRA could have used”. 

“Right, I’ll go”. Bucky decided.

“ _ We’ll go” _ , Steve corrected. “You’re coming with us, Vision?”

Vision seemed bewildered.

“Actually… I was going to prepare breakfast for Wanda, but…”

Bucky and Steve exchanged a look, trying to hide their smiles. 

“It’s okay”, Steve said trying to not to laugh, “And where’s Sam?”

“Running”. 

“Let’s just go”. Bucky said, anxious to do something else other than sit in the tower and wait. 

“Okay then”. Steve agreed. “F.R.I.D.A.Y sent us the coordinates of the base and anything that you can find”. 

“Already done, Captain”, the AI responded. Bucky still haven't got used to hearing her voice coming out of nowhere. 

“Let’s do this”.

Bucky was more than relieved for having that mission to distract his mind, even though it was the second time in less than 24 hours that he was hearing about HYDRA. At least, he could focus on kicking some thugs ass other than his current nightmare about Freya. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about the short conversation they had in that interrogation room and how she seemed nervous when he started to apologize for what he did. He didn’t meant to scare her, he felt that they had a connection. A connection that he couldn’t explain. Maybe because she was a lull point in his confused mind, one that didn’t harm him. Maybe that dream was his mind playing tricks on him. But, what if it wasn't? What if he had really hurted her? What would he do then? He ruined her life… 

But, if he really had did that, then why would she say the things the she did? About being sorry for what they did to him…

“Buck?”, Steve awoke him from his thoughts. “You’re okay there?”

“What…? Yeah, of course…”, he lied.

“You can talk to me if you want to, you know?”

Bucky looked at him.

“I just… Didn’t know  _ what _ to expect, that’s all. I still can’t believe they found her, and she is so… Hurt. I caused that”.

“HYDRA caused that”. Steve corrected him. “You were both victims, maybe not in the same way, but victims”.

“You don’t get it, Steve. HYDRA may have caused this, but they did it with my hands… They used me to do the things they did. And… And I hurted her, then I’m a monster! Even more than before…”, he sighed, “She was just a kid when I took her… How could I do that?”

“You were forced to do that, Bucky. You heard what she said, the other guy killer her mother on sight. You had no choice, and you heard what she said. She feels sorry for what they did to you too”. 

Bucky avoided Steve’s look, staring at this own hands instead. 

“So, what do we know about this base?”, he changed the subject. 

Steve took his phone and opened the building’s plant. 

“This is the original plant, you can see that there’s no basement”, he slid the image to the right and another plant appeared, this one seemed more deep, “This is the one F.R.I.D.A.Y simulated after scanning the place. The first floor looks abandoned and there are three other underground floors.”, Steve slid the image and now photos of the place appeared, it really looked abandoned.

“ What does the infrared show?”   
"Four guards downstairs, at least two on each floor.”   
  
"Then we immobilized the guards and searched the place.”   
  
"Yep, and no deaths!” Steve said. Bucky forced himself not to roll his eyes. He had not killed anyone since he had ceased to be the Winter Soldier, but he was not exactly careful with his opponent in the fights.

They landed a few minutes later, on top of a building a few blocks away from the base and walked the rest of the course. The four guards on the first floor were contained so fast that they could barely notice who was attacking them. After tying and hiding them up, Steve took one of their radios and they went looking for the exit to the lower levels. 

Steve checked the infrared again. 

“Three guards on the right, four on the left”. he warned.

They exchange a look and Steve went right while Bucky took the left. 

Bucky immobilized the first guard and squeezed his neck with his metal hand until the man went out, then he dropped him on the floor and kept walking. The second guard saw him approach and shot him, but Bucky protected himself with the metal arm and punched the guard. The man tried to stab Bucky’s stomach, but Bucky was fast and twisted his arm. The man screamed, catching the attention of the other guard, who rushed at him. Bucky threw the guard's body screaming over the other, causing him to bang his head against the wall. The fight was over in a matter of seconds.

“Clear”, he told Steve through the earpiece.

“Same here”, Steve replied, “But we better check these doors”. 

The corridor was poorly lit, but he could see two doors on his side. 

“You’re getting anything on the infrared?”, Bucky asked. 

“No, they seem empty. Do you remember this place?”

“No, I’ve never been here before.”

He tried the first door, but it was locked. He took distance and kicked it, the door opened on the second kick, but the room was empty. 

“Are you sure that this is a HYDRA base?”, Bucky asked after checking the second door and finding another empty room.

“That’s what the FBI informed us. Did you find anything?”

“No, what about you?”

“Nothing”. 

“So let’s go down, we still have two more floors to check”.

They met at the stairs and walked together to the next floor. A voice came from the stolen radio, warning that they still had company. 

This time, Bucky and Steve fought together against a dozen guards who had surrounded them. Steve hit them with the shield, causing the shots to bounce and pierce the walls. Bucky kicked and kicked, trying not to leave too much damage, but using his force to knock them down.

“HYDRA base or not, something is going on here”. commented Steve.

Bucky agreed. They deviated from the knocked down guards and went to different sides of the corridor. All rooms were empty. Steve checked the infrared but besides them and the guards, the place was empty.

“This feels like a trap”, Bucky said with a bad feeling when they reached the last floor. 

“I know”, Steve agreed, “but there’s only one way to find out”

Bucky took the left and Steve the right again, but there was only one door on each side of that corridor. He walked calmly, with his gun in hand and the door was unlocked. 

Bucky felt a shiver on his spine when he opened the door: It was another control room, just like the one in Montauk. One of the walls was painted in red, with the black HYDRA’s skull painted over it.

“I’ve found something”, he said through his comm. 

“I’m on my way”, Steve replied. 

The place seemed to be out of use, the computers and chairs covered in layers of dust, in a corner attached to several monitors was the control panel. At least a dozen servers took the other side of the room, a single monitor placed on one of them. 

When Bucky stepped closer to the servers, the monitor turned itself on. Zola’s eyes stared at him.

“Sargent Barnes”, the voice said and pain exploded on Bucky’s head, “I know you’ve found her”. 

The lights started to blink. Bucky could hear Zola’s laughter while the monitor turned off again. Freya’s face came to his mind, but, the pain was making Bucky’s head spin. 

He fell, screaming. Steve’s voice called him from somewhere, but, everything went dark. 

 

* * *

**BEFORE**

**SYBERIA - 2011**

 

Standing in a corner of the room, he could hear Zola and Kampmann giving her orders.

“No, please don’t!” she pleaded, “I always do what you ask…”

“Then do  _ this!” _ Kampmann said, his voice full of hatred. 

“Please, we can choose another target! Something else… This is a hospital… Zola, please…”

“It’s what the algorithm needs”, Zola’s cold voice came through the monitor. 

The girl burst into tears.

“No! I always do what you tell me to, but I won’t do this! I won’t!”

He saw Kampmann’s hand hit her face and she fell to the floor. He clenched his wrists.

“You do as you are told, you filthy bitch!”, Kampmann roared. 

She kept whimpering on the floor. 

“Soldat?”, Kampmann called and he walked towards the man. 

“If you don’t do this”, Kampmann told her, “I will kill him”. 

The girl looked horrified from one man to the other, her entire body shaking. He felt the gun in this temple but didn’t move. Waiting for Kampmann’s actions.  _ I could die _ , he thought,  _ kill me. Please _ .

“You think I don’t know what he did,  you stupid bitch?”, Kampmann said, “You think I don’t know what he told the guards?”

The girl stared at him again and he tried to nod, to make her obey. If he died she would suffer too. 

“Do it. Now”, Kampmann cocked the gun.

“I’ll do it!”, she cried, “Please, don’t hurt him! Please!”

She sat down on the chair again and started typing, her hands shaking. Kampmann smiled and lowered the gun. 

“Good girl”, he said, “You can return to your station now, Soldat”.

And he obeyed, like the good soldier that he was. 


	10. Freya

**Interrogation Room - FBI.**

  
Freya was exhausted, she had no idea of how long she was in that room, waiting and trying not to panic, but the lack of sleep was starting to catch up onto her, and she just wanted to lay down somewhere. Agent Carter had brought her some coffee - which she refused - and a sandwich that she already eat, now all she could do was wait.

Her head was hurting and she couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky and in what he had said.She didn’t want to think about any of that anymore. Freya sunk lower on her chair and sighed, staring at the ceiling. 

The door opened again, but this time instead of Agent Carter, a small woman with brown skin and short brown hair walked in. 

_ Psychiatrist _ , Freya guessed. It was obvious that they would made her speak to one. She never had an appointment with one in her life, but she didn’t need to. Her mother was a psychiatrist and sometimes, it felt like she could read her mind. Freya was never able to lie to her. There was something about that woman that remind her of her mother, maybe it was the eyes, or the clothes, but she felt her ache and tried to repress the memory. Thinking about her mother was painful.

“Hello, miss Hatkins”, the woman smiled and sat in front of her, where Bucky had seated hours ago. “I’m doctor Sinclair, the FBI asked to talk to you. Would you mind if I call you Freya?”

Freya shrugged. She knew that the doctor was evaluating her behaviour but, she was so tired and that small room was starting to make her anxious, she was starting to relieve her moments in other small rooms, with people who “just wanted to talk”.

“Freya, I’m a psychiatrist and agent Carter told a little about you and about what happened. I would like to help”. 

“I don’t need a psychiatrist”, Freya retorted avoiding the woman’s gaze, “Am I under arrest? Because if not, then I would like to leave”.

“You don’t like it in here?”

“Why would I like this place? It’s an interrogation room!”

“Fair enough”, the doctor agreed, “but, where would you go if you could leave? Do you have friends here? Or a place to stay?”

_ I don’t think it’s any of your business,  _ Freya thought, but said instead, “I got it covered”.

The doctor wrote something in her clipboard.

“Have you ever been to an interrogation room before?”, she asked.

Freya shrugged again.

“I know what you’re doing”, she said instead, “My mother was a psychiatrist too”. 

“ _ Was _ ?”, Sinclair asked. “You told agent Carter that she was killed on the day you were kidnapped”. 

“They killed her because I didn’t want to go”, Freya corrected her. 

“I’m sorry”. Sinclair said. “What they did to your mother, it wasn’t your fault, you know?”

Freya rolled her eyes and controlled herself before she could say something rude to the doctor. The woman wrote another note on her clipboard. 

“I understand that they kept you prisoner for eight years, is that correct?”, Sinclair tried again.

“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it”. Freya replied coldly, shaking her leg. She cursed herself mentally when Sinclair wrote another note. 

“So let’s talk about how you escaped. It was almost a year ago”.

“Yes”. 

“And how did you do it?”

Freya took her time to answer, considering if she should just say what the doc might want to her or to tell the truth. 

“I don’t remember”,  _ truth it is _ , she thought. “I mean, the whole thing is a blur, I remember bits and pieces but it’s confusing… All I know is that one moment I was in my cell and the other I was running out of the theater…”

“And what did you do after you ran away?”

“I hid”. 

“You didn’t look for the police?”

“No. HYDRA is everywhere… I didn’t know who to trust. When I escaped I remember walking down the street and someone thought that I was hurt so they called the police… The cop that helped me was a good person. She found a shelter for me to stay, but, they found me… So I ran again”. 

“And where did you go?”

“Canada. It was the closest country, I asked for help in another shelter but they found me again so I escaped”.

“Where else did you go?”

“Iceland. But they found me two weeks later. Than Belgium, Prague and lastly Brazil”.

“When did you return to the US?”

“Yesterday”. the doctor frowned and Freya added, “They found me so I had to run again”. 

“You didn’t consider going home?”

“I don’t have a home”, Freya’s voice faltered and she cleared her throat before continuing, “HYDRA took everything from me, I don’t have a place to go back to”.

The doctor made another note. 

“And how was your life before?” she asked staring into Freya’s eyes.

“Before?” Freya asked surprised.

“Before HYDRA”. 

Freya wasn’t expecting that one. The memories of her life before HYDRA were a blur now, like her mind had decided to keep them away, like remembering that she had a normal life, with a few friends and a mother who took care of her was too much to bear. Sometimes, when she was alone at her cell, she used to daydream about people looking for her, making campaigns to bring her back - like they did with that little girl she saw on TV one day - her school friends or perhaps one of her neighbours. But nobody could have helped her, she was alone. And now, eight years after, she couldn’t associate the person she had become with the girl HYDRA took away. 

“I don’t know… It wasn’t bad, I guess…”, she psychiatrist waited so she continued, “I used to go to a boring school, I had a scholarship. I spent the holidays and the summer at home, with mom… I don’t know what you want me to say, I had a few friends, was a good student…”

“More than good, for what I heard”. 

Freya felt a bitter taste in her mouth. She had talked enough.

“Yeah, and look where it got me”, she replied coldly. 

The doctor stared at her again, Freya expected her to say something again, but she simply smiled and got up. 

“Thank you, Freya. Give me a moment, please” and she walked out of the room and closed the door. 

Freya snorted, hating herself. If she hadn’t been stupid enough to invade a HYDRA base by herself and without a backup plan she wouldn’t be in that situation. But of course she had to be impulsive and irresponsible. 

A few minutes later the door opened again and Sinclair and agent Carter were back. But this time, Tony Stark was with them. 

_ What the fuck is he doing here?! _ , Freya thought, sitting up straight. 

“Hatkins, this is Tony Stark”, Carter introduced. 

“Hello, miss Hatkins”, Stark smiled. 

Freya mumbled a “hi” still shocked that Iron Man himself was in the room with her, she gave doctor Sinclair a inquisitive look. 

“Freya, after our conversation it seems to me that you’re going through a severe stage of PTSD. It’s very common in survivors of long term abuses, but you need help”. 

“And you diagnosed me with a half hour conversation?”

“That’s just an early diagnose, but I would like to spend more time with you”.

“We’ve had confirmation a few minutes ago that you were right, HYDRA wasn’t really extinguished. We can protect you”, agent Carter said. 

_ Was that serious?  _

“In exchange for what?”, Freya asked. 

“Your help”, Tony replied, “We need your help to better understand the algorithm”. 

“And what if I don’t cooperate?”

“You broke into a military base, we could arrest you for trespassing, you’re also not a american citizen so you can add extradition to the list”, Agent Carter numbered.

“Not to mention that HYDRA is still out there, you really think that you can run forever?”, Tony asked. 

Freya swallowed, feeling trapped. 

“I know that you think you can manage it, that maybe you can escape”, he continued, “but if you help us, you wouldn’t have to run anymore”. 

Freya sighed.  _ Screw it _ , she thought,  _ what else do I have to lose?  _

* * *

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA - 2010.**

  
  


She whispered that melody in her head, trying to control her shaking hands and the tears.  _ Undo this storm, undo this storm, undo this storm… And wait _ . 

It was Kampmann this time. He pulled his heavy body from hers and dressed. 

_ I can’t control withering wonders, flowers that lose their shape _ . 

She lay there, feeling nothing but disgust for herself. She no longer felt despair or fear, or pain. She just lay there, staring at the ceiling, waiting for it to be over. 

“Good girl, little bird”, Kampmann said, he touched her thigh lightly and left, closing the door. She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely.   


_ I lie awake and watch it all, it feels like thousand eyes.  _


	11. Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky discovers that Zola is not gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm really sorry for being gone for so long, but here I am with a new chapter. I really hope you enjoy it and let me know your thoughts!

When Bucky opened his eyes, he was laying on the cold floor, Steve hovering over him, concerned.

“Bucky!”

“Steve…” he mumbled, “how long was I out?”

“Just a couple of minutes. What happened? You were screaming when I got here!”

“You didn’t see anything?”

“Just the lights blinking, but they went back to normal when you passed out. What did you saw?”

“Zola”.

“Zola?!”

“When I approached the servers, that monitor turned itself on and he appeared… He told that he knows we found her.”

“Freya? He knew about Freya?”

“Who else could it be?” Bucky retorted, “But how could he know?”

“How could he be here?!”, Steve asked, “Natasha and I we’re there when the base exploded. We nearly died, the place was destroyed!”

“Are you sure?”

“I am… But S.H.I.E.L.D showed up and we had to run…” Steve and Bucky exchanged a look, they already knew what could have happened. 

“They must have found a way to recover him. What do we do now?”

Steve looked around. 

“We take the servers to the compound. There aren't that many, I think we can take them all in one trip”. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hang on”, said Rhodes, “ you’re saying that Zola, that weird maniac that put his brain into a computer and created the Winter Soldier, wasn’t destroyed?”

“At least not entirely”, Steve agreed. 

It was late in that afternoon and the Avengers - with the exception of Tony - were gathered in one of the conference rooms. 

“Are you sure that it wasn’t just a flashback, Barnes?”, Vision asked.

“I’m sure. The flashbacks are different. There’s something in those servers, as soon as I got close to it, he appeared”. 

“And what did he said?”, Wanda asked. 

“That he knew I found her”. 

“That girl the FBI arrested last night?”, Sam asked surprised. 

“Yes, her. Her name is Freya, she was forced to work for HYDRA. I remember her, she worked directly for Zola”. 

“She told Sharon that she helped create the algorithm”, Natasha told them.

“So she knows how to destroy it?”, Wanda asked, hopeful.

“We don’t know”, Natasha replied before Bucky could say anything, “She didn’t say much”. 

“Yes, but she can help”, Tony said walking into the room and sitting in one of the chairs, looking tired. 

“How is she?”, Bucky asked. 

“She’s fine, Barnes”, Tony replied, “But the psychiatrist said that she’s suffering from severe PTSD and anxiety, which is understandable considering everything that she went through.

“What’s going to happen to her?”

“She agreed to go to a clinic upstate”, Bucky opened his mouth to protest, but Tony continued, “She’ll be safe there, Sharon picked her best agents and we’ll get reports every hour”. 

“She agreed to help?”, Steve asked.

“She did, but, doctor Sinclair and I think it’s best to give the girl a little break before she starts working. She needs to know that she can trust us”.

“How long?”, Sam frowned.

“How long it takes”, Tony retorted, “Where are the servers?”

“In your lab”, Steve replied. 

“Okay, I’ll go have a look on them”, Tony sighed and walked out of the room.

Bucky followed him to the elevator. 

“What else did the psychiatrist said?”, he asked.

Tony sighed again, annoyed. 

“Like I said, her attitude is normal considering her trauma. And it wasn’t a good idea that you talked to her”. 

“Why not?!”

“Are you serious, Barnes? Why do you want to talk to her so much?”

“Because I remember her… That’s all”, he avoided Tony’s gaze. 

“Whatever it is that you remember, do me a favor and give her a break, alright?”

Bucky didn’t answered.  He snorted and left as the elevator stopped on the floor of the lab, feeling exasperated.   
  


* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA - 2010**

  
  
  


He walked through the corridors towards her cell, Zola had requested her again. He turned into another corridor and saw Kampmann coming out of her cell, fixing his clothes and adjusting his belt. He clenched his fists.

“Soldat?”, he called, “I didn’t know you liked to visit her as well”. 

In seconds, he had Kampmann pinned to a wall and was squeezing his neck.

“Leave. Her. Alone”, he said and his voice was filled with hatred. 

Kampmann smiled even though his face was turning purple. 

“Let me go, soldat. Or you won’t be the one to suffer the consequences”. 

He looked at the man and squeezed his throat harder. Kampmann remained calm like he knew that the soldier had lost the argument. A few seconds later, he let the man go. 

“You can’t take her from me”. Kampmann said, massaging his own neck, “Now go do your job”. 

The man walked away, leaving him alone. Then her voice came from the cell, broken. 

_ I lie awake and watch it all, it feels like thousand eyes. _

And he couldn’t understand what he felt. It was like something dormant was waking inside of him. He needed to protect her. 


	12. Freya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya tries to deal with a few ghosts and a surprise visit forces her to make a decision.
> 
> TW: Mentions of sexual assault and alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again and this time I'm gonna try to actually post a little more! Please let me know what you think of the story so far, I would love to read your comments.
> 
> And, just a PSA, english is not my first language and I wrote the entire story a while ago in my birth language and now I've been translaiting to english, so watch out for grammar mistakes.

**HEALTHY MIND CLINIC, NEW YORK.**

  
  


Freya couldn’t believe how crazy and fast her week had been. Seven days since she escaped from Brazil, seven days since she did what she did at the park… And now she was at a clinic, being  _ protected _ by the FBI and by Tony Stark. 

It was so unbelievable that she thought she was dreaming. Sometimes she felt safer than before, but every time she realized that, her anxiety would return, a constant reminder that it was temporary. She could never run away forever. They would always find her and she would have to run again. 

Freya was sitting on the ground, looking at the forest surrounding the clinic. It was on the countryside and it was huge, she assumed that Tony Stark was the one paying for it, because the FBI would never pay for her to stay in place like that. There were at least four celebrities recovering in that place and everybody seemed to know each other, so nobody really gave her too much attention.

Freya knew that the place was just a different kind of prison. She was there because they needed her to work for them, but the clinic was a thousand times better than the prison cells they kept her at HYDRA, there was no way to even compare them. If she closed her eyes, the woods would bring back the memories of the fields around her school and the road trips to Scotland with her mother. She liked the forest, the trees and the sounds and the air. She felt lighter. Free. 

Even though she felt better awake, her nightmares were a reminder that it wasn’t over yet. She kept dreaming about Zola and about HYDRA, but now, she was dreaming about Kampmann again. Freya assumed that she had been triggered by the guy in Brazil calling her “little bird”, only the ones who visited her cell called her that. 

She repressed that thought, tired of thinking about it. It was over, Kampmann was dead, she wasn’t in a cell anymore, there was no need to go back to those memories. She knew that doctor Sinclair would try to approach the topic on her sessions sooner or later, but she wasn’t ready. 

Remembering Dr. Sinclair, she stood up. _Group therapy._

Everyday since she arrived, Freya was obligated to go to the group therapy. The group was formed only by women - which made her more comfortable - and commanded by Sinclair. She never spoke, only listened, but she knew Sinclair hadn’t forgotten about her.

Freya joined the group sitted in a circle in one of the meditation rooms and let her mind wander. It was Tabitha's turn to tell her story. She was 30 years old and had been abused by her childhood boyfriend and now ex-husband since she was 15. The abuse had led her to alcohol, drugs and a suicide attempt that brought her to that place. 

“... I loved him so much”, she was saying, “I thought our first night would be special. Magic, you know? But he was drunk… We came home early from a friends party and I fell asleep… He just got on top of me…”, Freya’s attention drifted from the patterns on the carpet to Tabitha’s small form, her heart accelerating, “I couldn’t understand what was going on at first, but, when I did I screamed and he hit me…”

The memory came back like a slap. The first time it happened. It hadn’t been Kampmann, but, the guard that watched her cell. She couldn’t remember his name, but she remembered the things he said, and how she cried and begged and gave up in the end… 

“Freya? Freya?!”

Freya looked around, startled. Doctor Sinclair was calling her name with a worried expression. She realised that she had been crying. 

“Freya, would you like to share what you remembered?”, the doctor asked. 

“No… I’m sorry. Please, go on…”

“You don’t have to be ashamed, no one here will judge you”. 

“I know”, she replied, her voice weak, “but, I’m not ready to talk yet…”

“It’s okay”. Sinclair agreed, “We’ll be here when you’re ready. But, as I was saying it’s completely normal to feel sad, suffocated and lost after a traumatic event and we end up finding a defense mechanism that in most cases blocks this memories and traumas…”

Freya stopped paying attention once again, ashamed with the outburst she just had. She wasn’t supposed to be freaking out like this, it was so long ago and it was over…

She tried to guide her thoughts into something else and Bucky came to mind. She was still surprised that he had tried to speak to her that other day. And she froze not because she was afraid of him, but because looking at him was painful. It was a reminder of HYDRA and her cell, a reminder of his screams filling the corridor whenever they fried his brain and it was a reminder of what both of them had done. She knew what he was, what he did. But he probably wouldn’t remember the things she had to do.

When therapy was over, Freya walked back to her bedroom, considering taking a nap. The flashback made her feel completely exhausted. 

She opened her door and almost jumped with fright when she saw that Tony Stark was there, looking around the room. 

“What the…!” she exclaimed. 

“Sorry!”, said Tony, raising his arms as a sign of surrender. 

Freya opened the bedroom door completely and leaned against the door, she could swear that he was going through her things. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”. he apologized again.

“It’s okay”, Freya replied, crossing her arms automatically. 

“Group therapy?” Tony asked after a few seconds of silence. 

She nodded in agreement. 

“Do you enjoy it?”

“It’s not that bad”.

Tony smiled at that.

“Yeah, it doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe I should try it…”

Freya frowned.

“It’s a long story”, Tony dismissed, “So, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, I guess. It’s peaceful here”, Freya looked at her own feet, “Thank you, by the way, Mr. Stark, for helping me”. 

“Call me Tony, please”. 

“Okay… Tony. Thank you.”  she paused and finally looked at him, “So, what can I do for you?”

“I just came in to check on you”, Freya raised an eyebrow, “Okay, I have some questions too”.

“Questions?”

“Yeah, about the servers we found”, Tony looked around, uncomfortable because Freya hadn’t move from the door, “Don’t you want to sit down?”

“Oh, okay…”

She sat down in the desk chair while the avenger sat on the bed and looked at her. 

“So?” she asked. 

“We found two more servers since we found you”, Tony started. 

“You mean since I was arrested”, she corrected. 

“You know what I mean, anyway, we found one in Cleveland and one in Boston. What do you know about them?”

Tony grabbed his phone from his pocket and showed her a photo from each server. 

“Zola’s servers all had the same pattern, they were made by a company that used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. Were you able to access them?”

“No, we tried everything, even F.R.I.D.A.Y couldn’t access them. They seemed broken. Are you sure they’re still working?”

Freya nodded in agreement.

“I created they’re programing.  Zola wanted them to shut down completely if they fell into enemy hands.”

“Yeah, that’s clever”.

“I can activate them”. Freya offered, “Let me have a look at them”. 

Tony gave her a cautious look.

“Not yet. Doctor Sinclair said that you’re not ready”, Freya tried to protest but Tony continued, “And we haven’t found evidence that Zola is trying to return to power. We haven’t found evidence that Zola still exists, to be honest, if you don’t count what happened to Barnes last week…”

“Barnes?”, Freya interrupted him, “You mean Bucky?”

Tony looked like he said too much. 

“It’s nothing”.

“What happened? He saw Zola?”, Freya guessed. 

“Sort of. He claimed that he heard Zola’s voice when he approached one of the servers in Montreal. Said that Zola knew we had found you”. 

Freya’s mind started working fast. She was sure that she heard Zola’s voice when she was arrested and now Bucky, who had been tortured by Zola, might have heard him as well. And Zola knew about her. What could that mean, besides the fact that she couldn't have a single moment of peace?

“When the FBI arrested me”, she started, “I was close to the servers in Montauk, I was in the control room and I heard him. He didn’t said anything, just laughed.”

Tony gave her a concern look. 

“Are you sure? It could’ve been a flashback”. 

“It could’ve been”, she agreed, “But it wasn’t. I’m sure it wasn’t. I need to ask you a favor, Tony.”

“Sure, whatever you need”, he agreed.

“I need to see him”, Freya asked, “I need to see Bucky”. 

 

* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA, 2011.**

  
  


It had been a week since she last slept. A week working without breaks, numb and empty-minded. She was supposed to be dead by now, no one could survive this long without sleep. She started to understand the injections and the exams and tests: so she could stay awake. 

Just another form of torture, of taking control over her. She was so tired. And he wasn’t around. 

In the three years since she was taken - God, it looked like it had been 30 years - he had never stayed so long in the ice. But Zola said that his work was enough for now and that they didn’t needed him at the time. 

She never thought she would miss him. Her head throbbed and she closed her eyes for a few seconds, craving her cell and her tiny bed.

She just wanted it to be over. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Freya finally talk.
> 
> TW: Mentions of rape and violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next two chapters are a few of my ultimate favorites, so I hope you like it! Please listen to the acoustic version "Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1)" and "Winter Bird" by Aurora! 
> 
> And check the fic's playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/12150965470/playlist/78pBxsyDNlD0jvolV2k1js?si=tm1iLJ37R5K1Uza31H3r6g
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! <3

**HEALTHY MIND CLINIC - NEW YORK.**

 

Bucky still couldn’t believe that she asked to see him. He asked for her at the reception and walked to where the receptionist told him she would be. He had no idea what to say or what to expect. Tony said she needed to see him.

Bucky walked outside in the cold autumn weather and through the garden into the beginning of the woods. She was sitting in the stone steps, her back to him, looking at the trees. Her hair seemed even bigger since he last saw her and his heart started to beat even faster. He couldn’t remember feeling this way before, worrying so much about what she could think of him.

He approached her, making enough noise so she would know that someone was coming.

She got up when she saw him.

“Hi”, Freya said with a small smile, looking nervous.

“Hey”. he replied, her smile felt like a punch in his stomach.

“Thank you for coming. Doctor Sinclair doesn’t think it’s a good idea but, well…”, she stopped talking, staring at her own feet.

“It’s okay” he said still nervous, “I wanted to see you too”.

Freya blushed and looked away, trying to hide a small smile again. Bucky felt himself smiling.

“Sit”, she invited indicating the steps. The staircase was small, just to separate the garden from the woods. Bucky sat in a corner and Freya in the other, leaving a small space between them.

Bucky looked around, absorbing the landscape.

“It’s very beautiful here”, he said.

Freya looked at the entrance of the woods and then at Bucky again.

“It is”, she agreed, “I love to just sit here and look at the trees, it’s peaceful”.

“It helps to think”, Bucky agreed looking at her. Freya nodded and hugged her knees.

“So, how are you feeling?”, she asked surprising him. “I mean, with your mind and everything…”

Bucky noticed that she seemed really concerned and felt that thing that he couldn’t explain again.

“I’m getting better. Some things come back to me at pieces and, to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever get my memory completely back again, but, it’s a process”.

Freya agreed, her face resting on her knees.

“I’m really sorry”, she said, her voice low, “about everything they did to you. It wasn’t right…”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Bucky interrupted her, “It wasn’t your fault!”

“I was there sometimes”, she continued, her brown eyes getting lost in the forest, “when they got you out of cryo. It was horrible, I can only imagine what it felt like…”

“No”, Bucky said, his voice firm, “don’t beat yourself up about this. You were a victim,” _just as much as I was_ , he added mentally, “you don’t deserve to feel guilty about this”.

Freya gave him a sad smile.

“And besides”, he continued, “if anyone has to apologize is me. I was the one who took you from your home… I hurt your mother…”

“No, you didn’t!” Freya exclaimed, surprised. “Kampmann was the one who tricked her, he pretended to be her boyfriend for a few months and then he killed her, not you. You don’t remember?”

Bucky shook his head.

“Well, you didn’t do it” she said firmly, “He did”.

Bucky exhaled, realising he was holding his breath the entire time. He honestly didn’t remember Freya’s mother, but he believed her.

“That day, at the FBI.” Freya started, “You went to talk to me. How did you know I was there?”

It was Bucky’s turn to blush.

“I was looking for you”.

“For _me_?!”

Bucky agreed.

“Like I told you that day, I remembered you. I remember that I used to take you to Zola… - he swallowed - I remember your voice, singing. I remember Kampmann… - he saw her holding her breath when he said the name - I remember you curled in your cell… You were really scared.

Freya’s eyes widened.

“Freya”, Bucky started, “I- I hurt you, didn’t I?”

Bucky looked at her. She was caught by surprise. He felt his chest tighten, waiting for her answer.

“Bucky…” Freya said his name, her voice weak. She sighed and tried again. “Bucky, you didn’t hurt me”.

He frowned.

“No?”

“No. You saved me”.

She was silent. Bucky looked at her, relieved, but when she looked back at him he saw a sadness so deep in her brown eyes that he still felt worried, like there was something broken inside of her.

“Freya, what happened that night?” he asked but she shook her head. “Freya, please, what happened?”

Bucky realised that he was leaning a little closer to her, but Freya looked scared almost like a wounded animal. He looked into her eyes again.

“Please, tell me”, he asked softly.

She looked away and into the woods again, silently. Bucky waited.

“T-They used to come to my cell” she started, her voice as low as a whisper, “every night. Different guards. Sometimes Kampmann. They… T-They did things to me. I-It happened since the day they took me… It happened in Siberia, and in Moscow and… I don’t remember all of their names, but, I remember their faces…”

“One night, there were five of them. Usually it was one or two, that was the first time…” tears fell from her eyes and she closed them, trying to gain control, “And you walked in. I think you were going to take me to Zola, I don’t know, but you walked in. They didn’t stop right away, but the look on your face… God, I thought you were going to kill me, or worse. But you didn’t. You went for the guards.”, Freya took a deep breath, “It happened very fast. You broke their necks like they were twigs and you took me, not to Zola, but to the infirmary. And you stayed there all night, until they took care of me”,

She looked at him, crying.

“You were the Winter Soldier, but you saved me anyway”.

  


* * *

 

**BEFORE**

**SIBERIA, 2010.**  


He was furious. He put her in a bed while she still cried. Her clothes barely able to cover her bruised body, there was blood in her nails and thighs, her hair was a mess and fingertips shaped bruises covered her arms and torso.

He grabbed a nurse by the arm and made the woman take care of her. And didn’t left her alone.

When one of the officers came looking for them, he grabbed the man by his throat and lift him up.

“If anyone lay a finger on her, whoever it is, I’ll kill them. Understood?”

The man nodded and ran away.

He went back to the her bed, she wasn’t crying anymore and touched his metal arm. The one he used to kill the men who were hurting her.

“Thank you”, she said.


	14. Freya.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of rape, blood and violence.

**HEALTHY MIND CLINIC, NEW YORK.**

 

Freya remained silent, tears falling from her eyes. She kept that memory locked in her brain for so long that saying it out loud made the weight on her chest lighter. She dried her eyes in her sleeves and looked at Bucky, surprised to see that he had teary eyes. 

“I was terrified of you before that”, she continued, staring at him. “But you saved me. I wasn’t scared anymore. Not of you”.

Bucky seemed lost of words so Freya closed the space between them and hugged him, feeling completely comfortable on his presence, and he hugged her back, the metal arm on her hair and the human one on her back. His face in her hair. 

Freya was always terrified of other people touch, she hated the idea of someone else’s hands on her body, anywhere. But not him, she wasn’t afraid of him. Because she had lived a real hell in the hands of men who treated her like a lifeless toy and he could have participated. He could have hurt her. But he never did and she knew that he never would. 

“Forgive me”, Bucky said, his face still buried in her hair. “For not stopping them before, for taking so long to realise it, to do something…”

She moved away from him and touched his face, her hand soothing on his stubble. 

“You didn’t know. There was no way you could’ve known and I don’t blame you”. she said firmly. 

“Even so, forgive me for letting this happened to you. How old were you? 14? 15? I’m really sorry that this happened, I really am.”

Freya tried more insistent tears from her eyes. 

“It’s over, I’m just trying to move on now. I don’t want to think about it anymore”. 

Bucky stared at her.

“Besides,” she added, “Doctor Sinclair will want to die when she finds out that it was easier to talk to you than to my therapy group”. 

He laughed. 

It was the first time she had seen him laugh and it made her feel calm. He was beautiful when he smiled. 

Bucky couldn’t stop staring at her and his blue eyes were shining. She felt a little nervous, but not out of fear and looked at the woods again. She saw, on the corner of her eyes, when he looked away too, biting his lip. 

“Tony Stark was here yesterday”, she said remembering why she asked him to come, “He told me that you found a HYDRA base in Montreal and he let it slip that you heard Zola”. 

Bucky nodded in agreement.

“What happened?” Freya asked. 

“When I got close to the servers he spoke. He said that he knew I had found you. Do you have any idea how he could have find that?”

“I have my suspicions, but nothing for sure yet”, she replied, thoughtful and Bucky frowned. “The first suspicion is that Zola wasn’t destroyed. That’s, actually a certainty. I helped him create his algorithm so I know that he wasn’t completely destroyed.”

“But, HYDRA is over”, Bucky said, concerned. 

“When the Black Widow leaked those files, everything became chaotic. I was still there when it happened. The algorithm had been partially destroyed and now HYDRA was out of the shadows, but they aren’t over. They only dissolved. Montauk was one of the last bases to continue running, as far as I know. They forced to recover the algorithm, but they were destabilized. Many ran away and many deserted the “cause”. But many people stayed, Kampmann included. That’s why it took me a year to escape”.

“So, you’re saying that the Zola that I heard was real?”

“Yes. Which leads to my second theory: HYDRA is tracking me somehow. I mean, it’s obvious that they’re doing that, but I’ve been doing everything that I can to hide my tracks and they still find me”. 

“What are you trying to say?”, Bucky asked. 

“When they found me in Brazil one of them said that Zola missed me, and I heard him in Montauk. He didn’t said anything, just laughed, but it was him”.

“So you think Zola is tracking you himself?” Bucky asked, surprised.

Freya shrugged.

“It’s possible. If he wasn't really destroyed than he’s looking for me”. 

Bucky nodded.

“And that could be the reason why he spoke to you.  He was the one who created the Winter Soldier and so far he only spoke to the people he controlled… You better be careful”. 

“Yeah, you too. I’ll talk to the other about this”. 

Freya agreed. 

“Look for any sign of Zola, I think you’ll be able to recognize the pattern.”

“Okay. But, what about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes. Are you safe here?”

Freya frowned, surprised with the question.

“I am. The FBI is protecting me and so is your friend Tony Stark”. 

Bucky smiled. 

“Good, but you if need me, tell them to call me”.

“Thank you, Bucky”, Freya smiled and got up, “I should go now or I’ll be late for my session with Dr Sinclair”. 

Bucky seemed surprised that she was leaving already, almost disappointed. 

“Thank you”, Freya smiled and left. When she was already a bit further she heard him calling her name and turned around.

“Why did you came back? I mean, you could’ve gone anywhere…”

Freya smiled and shrugged.

“I don’t know. 'Guess I remembered you too.”

And with that, she left, leaving Bucky smiling. 

* * *

Freya walked into doctor Sinclair’s office feeling more lighter than she had in a long time, her mind going over the conversation and the way Bucky moved, or how he hugged her. His body was hard, but soft at the same time and she couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged her, the simple idea of someone touching her body in any way, would make Freya panic, but Bucky saved her. He wouldn’t hurt her. She felt like there was a connection between them.

She knocked on Sinclair’s wooden door, but there was no answer and, after trying again, she opened the door. 

Doctor Sinclair was sitting in her chair, her back to the door. It took Freya a few seconds to realise that the woman wasn’t moving. 

“Doctor Sinclair?”, she called, slowly approaching the chair. 

Freya gasped and backed away when Sinclair’s head fell backwards. A single bullet hole in her forehead causing the blood to drip into her clothes.

Freya stepped away from the doctors body, ready to run and ask for help when a hand on her shoulder made her gasp and turn. A really tall man, with dark hair, broad shoulders, a HYDRA pin on his jacket and a gun with a silencer in hand held her. 

“Who are you?” she asked to buy time. 

“You’re coming with me”, the man said, his accent was heavy. 

“Yeah, I heard that one before, but it’s not gonna happen!”, Freya retorted and kicked him. 

Freya tried to run but he pulled her back before she could reach the door. She grabbed the lamp on the desk and hit him in the head, the man cursed but didn’t seem hurt, so she pushed one of the chairs on top of him and ran, screaming to get attention. 

Freya opened the door and stumbled on someone, her entire body seemed to relax a little when she felt a metal hand on her arm. Bucky. 

“What is…?”

Freya was about to answer when the HYDRA man screamed in russian and they turned. He was pointing the gun at them. Before she could pull Bucky by the hand and run she heard the gun being unlocked.  

And the man shot. 

* * *

**BEFORE**

**Montauk Theater, New York. 2012.**

  
  


It had been a month since they took her to that place and she hadn’t seen him. At least, when she knew that he was around she felt safer. It was like she could live with the things she had to do if he was around. Like they shared something invisible that couldn’t be touched. 

She looked through the dark monitor of the control room. Kampmann was standing on one side and Zola eyes, on that small monitor, on the other. Again, she couldn't remember the last time she had slept. Four days ago? Five? More? 

“Now”, Kampmann ordered. 

She typed the commands and the target on the screen was destroyed. She saw Zola smiling on his monitor.  _ The perfect attack _ , he called. No one would notice a nuclear attack like that when there were aliens falling from the sky and destroying the city on top of them. And even if they did, nobody would care. 

And HYDRA would win again.

 

_**End of the first part.** _


End file.
